How to Wear What YOU Want to a Wedding | No Dress or Heels Required!

how to wear what you want to wedding

There’s no escaping the fact that weddings can cause stress levels to skyrocket. how to wear what you want to wedding
There are (what feels like) a thousand things to organise and that’s just for the guests!

If you’re the Bride, Groom, Mother of the Bride/Groom…
Stand clear.
Heads might explode!

The last thing you need at this stressful time is a style crisis.

However, the ‘outfit’ can sometimes cause a lot of worry and anxiety.
Especially if you’re one of the main wedding party.
All eyes are on you, and the pressure is high to get it right.

If you are a mature bride then things can get really tricky.
No wonder there are often tears and tantrums!

Any women can feel pressured to conform to certain style rules when it comes to certain occasions, especially those of us that are over 40.

Even if your heart tells you to do your own thing, the pressure can be so intense that convention eventually wins.
Let’s face it, no one wants to upset anyone, look inappropriate, like mutton dressed as lamb, or (worse in my opinion) frumpy.

Just look up “What to Wear to a Wedding” and you’ll be bombarded with a mind-boggling number of things NOT to do!

Styling for the ‘Mother of the Bride’ is a great example of what people expect you to be wearing…

“Pay attention! 

You MUST follow these rules ladies… 

Out comes the shift dress, matching bolero jacket and plume-like fascinator. 

Add killer (literally) heels and a matching bag. 

The hair gets an industrial strength blow dry, or a twee up-do… half a can of hairspray to finish thank you! 

Makeup is ‘professionally’ applied (possibly with a trowl) and there’s maybe even a fence-paint-style spray tan, and 3 feet acrylic nails tips!? 

Better get the cheque book out girls… or organise a bank loan!”

BUT, what if none of that is YOU.

What if the thought of conforming to the traditional ‘Wedding Clone’ brings you out in a cold sweat?

What if you feel awkward in a dress?
Or, you feel silly in a bolero jacket?
What if fascinators leave you confused?

What if high heels give you the fear, and you totter around in them like a newborn calf.
What if you can’t face the agony of spending hours in shapewear?

Don’t worry!

You CAN wear what you want and not upset the conventional apple cart.

{Disclaimer: You’ll probably upset someone BUT you can’t please everyone, so why sweat it?}

how to wear what you want to wedding

When House of Fraser got in touch to ask if I’d be interested in sharing their Mother of the Bride edit I was very intrigued, and pretty excited too!

I’m a big fan of the House of Fraser (Jenners) in Edinburgh… if you’ve ever been you’ll know why.
It’s a very old building with loads of higgledy-piggledy rooms, secret stairways and interesting nooks.
You can find everything you need (from lipstick to a lampshade) and plenty of things you didn’t know you needed!

If you’ve ever shopped with House of Fraser (in-store or online) you’ll know they also offer plenty of beautiful wedding outfit options from various brands.
Plus, all the traditional items like bolero jackets, hats, heels, clutch bags and fascinators if that’s what you love.

They also stock loads of lovely separates, jumpsuits and interesting accessories for those of you that don’t want that classic look.

So, you can be occasion appropriate but still be YOU!

{Check out their Wedding Boutique Collection for more inspiration}

how to wear what you want to wedding

Trousers or a Dress?

If I had to choose I would always pick trousers over a skirt (or dress).
I do love wearing dresses and skirts but in order to feel totally at home give me trousers any day!

If you’re a trouser lover too you can easily style them for a wedding.
(Even if you’re the bride.)

{I’ve worn vinyl for a wedding before… I kid you not!}

If you are already feeling nervous (as the bride, mother of the bride or even a guest) the last thing you need is to feel squeezed into alien clothing.

Your clothes should be helping you, not hindering your performance and enjoyment.

The trick is to find the silhouettes you love (and feel comfortable wearing) in a ‘wedding’ version.

3 Ways to Wear what you Want to a Wedding (without looking like too much of a rebel!)

You can wear (almost) anything you want to a wedding as long as they’re ticking one of the following boxes…

1. Go Light.

Practically any silhouette can work as long as the colours are light and wedding-ified!

Florals (especially bold designs on a pale background).
Light and breezy brights.
Even cream, or Ivory.

Keeping the colour palette light and airy instantly says ‘Wedding appropriate’.

(With the exception of white jeans, unless the wedding is uber-relaxed of course!)

2. Get Metallic.

Gold, silver, copper… whatever floats your metallic boat.
A dash of metal adds more light and lifts any look from ‘okay’ into ‘extra special’
Even a humble pair of brogues can be suitable if they’re in a metallic finish.

3. Add some sparkle.

Whether it’s big earrings, a cuff, shoes or a bag.
Anything with some glitz will make you feel extra special and look like you’ve put in the effort.
Keep the sparkles light and bright to fit into the wedding vibe.

Don’t forget to ‘Shop your Wardrobe’

Gawdzooks I hate that cliché, but it’s really appropriate here!

Have a look at pieces you already own that tick the wedding boxes…lights, metallics and/or sparkles.
You might be surprised what you find lurking in your collection.
Any old pieces you know are comfortable (and familiar) can be incorporated into your new outfit.
These pieces will not only save you money but ensure your comfort on the big day.
It’s win-win!

For this (not-so-classic) Wedding look I chose a trouser suit.
The ultimate in cheating!

Simple details like the flared sleeve of the jacket elevate a completely familiar silhouette into something special

With a suit like this, you’ll look smart and elegant for the photographs and be able to dance the night away (in comfort) when the time comes.

An outfit like this will even allow you to play with the younger members of the wedding party, and join in all the fun!

Who wants to be wrestling out of their shapewear (or applying blister plasters) in the loos when everyone else is having a good time?

A suit, like this one, is easy to style.
Simply add a top (or bodysuit) in a style and colour that makes you happy.
Anything goes really.

The only thing to be mindful of is a pair of invisible knickers.
I find a Brazilian cut (in nude) to be the most flattering.
A wedding VPL is not a Good look.

Now for the shoes…

There is no rule that says you need to wear heels unless you want to.
If you love heels then go for it.

I certainly LOVE high heels but I love dancing, chasing the wee ones around the lawn and joining in the games more.

If you want to wear flats then why not?
Just make sure they fit in to the ‘wedding’ trio of light, metallic or sparkles.
then you can’t go wrong.

Another great bonus of an outfit like this is that you can genuinely wear all of the pieces again.

A wedding (guest) dress is unlikely to ever see the light of day (unless to pass it on to a friend or give it to charity) whereas a suit can be styled in so many different ways for different occasions.
Plus, you can split it up and wear the pieces separately.

{I’m out next weekend and plan to wear this jacket with my jeans}

A much sounder investment than the ‘classic’ outfit options.
What’s not to like about enjoying the day in comfort AND being able to wear the outfit again?

Are you off to a wedding soon?
Are you worried about your outfit?
Does convention bore/terrify you?
Or, do you feel safer conforming to what is expected?

Please leave me a comment and let me know your opinion!

CREAM JACKET: Coast c/o House of Fraser (now on sale!)
CREAM TROUSERS: Coast c/o House of Fraser

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